Created
January 15, 2025 12:39
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Fake diary
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| # Day 1 - Monday | |
| * Spent first hour debugging a prod issue - turned out to be an env var mismatch | |
| * Stand-up meeting ran long due to heated discussion about switching from REST to GraphQL | |
| * Found three security vulnerabilities in deps audit - spent 2 hours updating pkgs | |
| * Wrote docs for the new auth middleware - nobody will read them anyway | |
| * Battled with TypeScript types for a recursive data structure | |
| * Merged 5 PRs that were collecting dust in review | |
| * Coffee machine broke - considered declaring technical bankruptcy | |
| * Actually got into flow state for 2 hours - wrote elegant solution for data sync | |
| * Discovered a memory leak in prod - left it for tomorrow | |
| * Updated my VS Code setup with new extensions - productivity increased by 0.1% | |
| # Day 2 - Tuesday | |
| * Fixed yesterday's memory leak by removing all error handling (kidding) | |
| * Three devs independently wrote the same util function - great minds think alike | |
| * Someone deployed straight to prod - chaos ensued | |
| * Spent 2 hours optimizing a query that runs once per month | |
| * Added tests for edge cases that will never happen | |
| * Refactored a 2000-line component into 20 100-line components | |
| * Got into a debate about tabs vs spaces in code review | |
| * Found my code from 6 months ago - wondered who wrote this mess | |
| * Attended architecture meeting - drew lots of boxes and arrows | |
| * Successfully avoided being assigned to legacy codebase maintenance | |
| # Day 3 - Wednesday | |
| * Started day with 100% test coverage, ended with "it works on my machine" | |
| * Pair programmed with junior dev - remembered how little I know | |
| * Found perfect Stack Overflow answer - from myself 2 years ago | |
| * Spent 3 hours investigating why CI is failing - missing semicolon | |
| * Attempted to update Docker container - descended into dependency hell | |
| * Renamed variables to actually make sense - git blame now points to me | |
| * Had three meetings about having fewer meetings | |
| * Discovered codebase still has jQuery - pretended not to notice | |
| * Rewrote entire feature in different framework - performance decreased | |
| * Successfully debugged race condition by adding random setTimeout | |
| # Day 4 - Thursday | |
| * Implemented new feature in 30 minutes, spent 5 hours writing tests | |
| * Code review feedback: "LGTM" - they didn't read it | |
| * Found elegant solution to complex problem - too clever, rolled back | |
| * Spent morning documenting undocumented API endpoints | |
| * Accidentally dropped staging db - restored from backup nobody knew existed | |
| * Added logging to troubleshoot issue - logs now too verbose to be useful | |
| * Refactored utility functions - broke 15 seemingly unrelated features | |
| * Upgraded Node.js version - only 147 breaking changes to fix | |
| * Started writing blog post about best practices - realized I follow none | |
| * Finally fixed that CSS alignment issue - don't ask me how | |
| # Day 5 - Friday | |
| * Deployed to prod at 4:30 PM - I like to live dangerously | |
| * Removed 10k lines of commented code - nobody noticed | |
| * Fixed bug that's been in prod for 2 years - users now complaining | |
| * Spent 2 hours arguing about proper Git commit message format | |
| * Wrote comprehensive documentation - immediately became outdated | |
| * Optimized build pipeline - now takes only 45 minutes instead of 46 | |
| * Added feature flags - now nothing works unless all flags are true | |
| * Had existential crisis about JavaScript framework choice | |
| * Created 3 TODO comments - will never do them | |
| * Set up error monitoring - ignorance was bliss | |
| # Day 6 - Saturday (On-call) | |
| * Woken up at 3 AM by prod alert - false positive | |
| * Woken up at 4 AM by prod alert - actual issue | |
| * Fixed critical bug while half asleep - surprisingly good code | |
| * Added more logging - found source of mysterious 404s | |
| * Wrote script to automate common support requests | |
| * Discovered weekend deploy actually worked flawlessly - suspicious | |
| * Updated incident response docs between alerts | |
| * Optimized database queries that were causing slowdown | |
| * Created runbook for common issues - immediately encountered uncommon issue | |
| * Started planning Monday's explanation of weekend changes | |
| # Day 7 - Sunday | |
| * Decided to do some open source contribution - spent 5 hours setting up dev env | |
| * Practiced leetcode - remembered why I hate binary trees | |
| * Read through new framework docs - immediately forgot everything | |
| * Updated personal project - broke everything | |
| * Tried new coding font - productivity increased by 200% | |
| * Organized GitHub stars - still can't find anything | |
| * Watched tech talks at 2x speed - understood nothing | |
| * Started learning Rust - questioned life choices | |
| * Prepared mental explanation for Monday's stand-up | |
| * Set up perfect dev environment - will change everything tomorrow |
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