Laravel Robot Entertainer

app\Kernel.php

protected $middleware = [
        // ...
        \App\Http\Middleware\RobotEntertainerMiddleware::class,
    ];

RobotEntertainerMiddleware.php

<?php

namespace App\Http\Middleware;

use Closure;
use Illuminate\Support\Arr;

class RobotEntertainerMiddleware
{
    const prohibitedRoutes = [
        '.well-known/assetlinks.json',
        'blog/*',
        "*/eval-stdin.php",
        "*/Sms.php",
        "*/update.php",
        "*/wp-login.php",
        "*/xmlrpc.php*",
        "/.git/*",
        "/xxxxxx.php",
        "admin.php",
        "admin/login.php",
        "administrator",
        "administrator/*",
        "ajaxproxy/proxy.php",
        "backup",
        "bitrix/*",
        "cms",
        "demo",
        "home",
        "index.php",
        "info.php",
        "magmi/web/magmi.php",
        "main",
        "manager/*",
        "new",
        "news",
        "old",
        "site",
        "temp",
        "test",
        "tmp",
        "v1",
        "v2",
        "web",
        "website",
        "wordpress/*",
        "wp-*/*",
        "wp/*",
        "xmlrpc.php*",
    ];

    const tenHoursOfFun = [
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbby9coDRCk",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb2evY0kmpQ",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh7lp9umG2I",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9Uz1icjwrM",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sagg08DrO5U",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3YmHZ9HMPs",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI-kpVh6e1U",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jScuYd3_xdQ",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5PvBzDlZGs",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UZbGgXvCCA",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-dNDXUt1fg",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ5JEhDy8nE",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnnWp_akOrE",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwGfwbsF4c4",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZcmTl_1ER8",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLmcGkvJ-e0",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGlyFc79BUE",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMFOVSWn0mI",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clU0Sh9ngmY",
        "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCNrK-n68CM"
    ];

    private function isProhibited($request) {
        foreach (self::prohibitedRoutes as $route) {
            if ($request->is($route)) {
                return true;
            }
        }

        return false;
    }

    /**
     * Handle an incoming request.
     *
     * @param  \Illuminate\Http\Request  $request
     * @param  \Closure  $next
     * @return mixed
     */
    public function handle($request, Closure $next)
    {
        if ($this->isProhibited($request))
        {
            return redirect()->away(Arr::random(self::tenHoursOfFun));
        }

        return $next($request);
    }
}