Ironic

ironic.json

[
    {
        "name": "Old Man",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [0],
        "phrase": "An old man turned 98\nHe won the lottery, and died the next day"
    },
    {
        "name": "Black Fly",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [1],
        "phrase": "It's a black fly in your Chardonnay"
    },
    {
        "name": "Death Row Pardon",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [2],
        "phrase": "It's a death row pardon two minutes too late"
    },
    {
        "name": "Rain Wedding",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [3, 8, 13],
        "phrase": "It's like rain on your wedding day"
    },
    {
        "name": "Free Ride",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [4, 9, 14],
        "phrase": "It's a free ride when you've already paid"
    },
    {
        "name": "Good Advice",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [5, 10, 15],
        "phrase": "It's the good advice that you just didn't take"
    },
    {
        "name": "Mr Play It Safe",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [6],
        "phrase": "Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly\nHe packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye"
    },
    {
        "name": "Plane Crash",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [7],
        "phrase": "He waited his whole damn life to take that flight\nAnd as the plane crashed down he thought, 'Well, isn't this nice?'"
    },
    {
        "name": "Traffic Jam",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [11],
        "phrase": "It's a traffic jam when you're already late"
    },
    {
        "name": "No Smoking",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [12],
        "phrase": "A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break"
    },
    {
        "name": "10,000 Spoons",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [16],
        "phrase": "It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife"
    },
    {
        "name": "Dream Man",
        "ironic": true,
        "times": [17],
        "phrase": "It's meeting the man of my dreams\nAnd then meeting his beautiful wife"
    },
    {
        "name": "Facebook Request",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [18],
        "phrase": "An old friend sends you a Facebook request\nYou only find out they’re racist after you accept"
    },
    {
        "name": "Office Cake",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [19],
        "phrase": "There’s free office cake on the first day of your diet"
    },
    {
        "name": "New iPhone",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [20],
        "phrase": "It’s like they announce a new iPhone the day after you buy it"
    },
    {
        "name": "Swipe Left",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [21],
        "phrase": "It’s like swiping left on your future soulmate"
    },
    {
        "name": "Snapchat",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [22],
        "phrase": "It’s a Snapchat that you wish you had saved"
    },
    {
        "name": "Funny Tweet",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [23],
        "phrase": "It’s a funny tweet that nobody faves"
    },
    {
        "name": "Waze",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [24],
        "phrase": "It’s a traffic jam when you try to use Waze"
    },
    {
        "name": "Vape",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [25],
        "phrase": "A no-smoking sign when you brought your vape"
    },
    {
        "name": "Male Hosts",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [26],
        "phrase": "It’s 10,000 male late-night hosts when all you want is just one woman, seriously!"
    },
    {
        "name": "Duet",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [27],
        "phrase": "It’s singing the duet of your dreams, and then Alanis Morissette shouting at you"
    },
    {
        "name": "Southwest Plane",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [28],
        "phrase": "It’s like you’re first class on a Southwest plane\nThen you realize that every seat is the same"
    },
    {
        "name": "Amazon",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [29],
        "phrase": "It’s like Amazon but your package never came"
    },
    {
        "name": "Netflix",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [30],
        "phrase": "It’s like Netflix but you own DVDs"
    },
    {
        "name": "Uber",
        "ironic": false,
        "times": [31],
        "phrase": "It’s a free ride but your Uber’s down the street"
    }
]